Gifting Strategies for Extended Family

 Family gift-giving habits get rooted in parents' desire to give good gifts to their children, and while the aim is loving, the result, when children are adults, can be overwhelming.  Needs, interests, and numbers increase.  The parents now must be concerned with sons and daughters-in-law, grandchildren, and the desire to please everyone.  Meanwhile, siblings worry about how to manage gifts for nieces, nephews, in-laws, and still stay afloat financially.  It's tough to curb that longing to give generously, but in many cases, it's a must because of costs.

Each family will approach the issue of gifts for extended family members differently, and what works for one, will not seem to suit the other.  Have a heart to heart as a family, or send out a letter or email to poll each member for ideas, and decide together, if possible, what to do.

 Some families find great success in solving the overwhelming gifting issues by holding a family drawing for adults.  A friend of mine is involved in such an approach, and her parents oversee the draw.  Each adult chooses the name of another in the family, and spends a given amount of money on that individual gift.  Meanwhile, everyone still purchases affordable gifts for the kids.  This has worked successfully in their situation, and still provides a great time together, with everyone having the chance to open a gift and celebrate together.

 Some families stick to a family only gift, whether it be a game, a movie, or a set of hot chocolate mugs.  Make it creative, by determining a yearly theme, such as snowflakes, The Nutcracker Suite, or some other recognizable topic.   This allows each family to acknowledge each other, without having to go overboard.

 Our family has elected to suspend giving Christmas gifts to adults in the family.  Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents still do what they can or want to do for children, but the pressure to provide gifts for adults is alleviated.  This allows the economic and social pressures that can accompany holiday giving to be set aside, and makes things easier on everyone.  There was some resistance in this change, as some family members didn't want to stop giving to everyone.  However, the point of taking some of the emotional pressures off of those who could not afford to continue traditional giving, assisted in convincing all to agree.

Your solutions will be unique to your given interests and circumstances.  This is a commonly faced issue, and these are just a few suggestions of ways to make it easier for extended families to celebrate with less stress and cost.